For my Dad

  My dad is one of my favorite people on this planet.  Today is his birthday, and I just want to express some of the many reasons that I am incredibly grateful that he is my dad, and that he will be for all eternity.

 

 

 

  Some of my oldest memories of my dad are of him teaching me-teaching me how to build Lego creations from the instructions, teaching me to fish, teaching me to hold a golf club, shoot a hoop, throw a baseball, and most of all, teaching me what it means to put your family above everything.

 

  As far as I can remember, my dad has rarely slept in past 7:30 on a Saturday.  He is always up doing the grocery shopping or yard work before anyone else is up.  He is a superb cook, and has always helped with cooking meals in our home.  I love the memories of my dad singing like the Swedish chef while he cooks or bakes with my mom.  I love the memories of staying up late watching Perry Mason with him, or laughing at stupid commercials on TV.

 

  During my years of elementary school and junior high, my dad was never too busy to help me with my math and science homework.  Even when us kids were brats about doing our homework, he somehow had the incredible patience required to never get angry (although he sometimes laughed at how dumb we were acting), and would always help us after we took a calming break (sometimes called time out).

 

 

 

  My dad never has asked for recognition for the things he does.  Once I got a car in high school, he would often go fill up my tank with gas on a Saturday morning without telling me, and always did the same whenever I needed an oil change or new tires put on.  He drove up to Logan last week because I was having car problems on a Saturday morning while I was still asleep and fixed it.  He has never asked for anyone's gratitude (and I wish I could say I was really good about thanking him, but I'm sure there are a million things I will never give him the thanks he deserved for doing), but continues to do these things anyway.

 

  Throughout my childhood, my dad attended my soccer games, my spelling bees, and has never missed a choir concert or a piano recital.  He has done the same for my 2 siblings.  He never came to anything with a bad attitude-if it was important to us, it was important to him.  He has paid for lessons, bought instruments, and supported all 3 of us in our interests.  He encouraged me through all of my years of education, and he's the main reason I got any financial aid for college (thanks for making me write those boring essays, dad). 

 

  My daddy may not be the feelings type, but he's been there for me through some really hard times and has always been understanding and listens to me.  My dad protects me and loves me for exactly who I am, even though I am far from a perfect daughter. 

 

  But the thing I love most about my dad is the way he treats my mom.  I have never, ever heard my dad yell at my mom.  He gets her door every time they go anywhere, and he is always holding her hand or giving her a kiss.  He tells her every day that he loves her and I have heard him compliment her so many times in my life.  He takes her out for date night every Friday night and has done so for as long as I can remember. 

 

 

  My dad has been my grandma's main caregiver for the last 15 years, and he has done such a good job.  He has been there for her through everything, and I have watched him drop everything else to go take care of her when she needed it, especially when her sister died and our family was all she had in Utah.

 

  I am so grateful for a dad that is a worthy priesthood holder.  I have seen the power he has manifested throughout my life.  I have watched as he blessed my mom when she was really sick, and I have been a direct recipient whenever I have gone in for surgery, needed comfort, or was about to start a school semester.

 

  My father is one of the most loving people I have ever met. He is so full of kindness, patience, and love.  He has taught me more than I could ever put into words, and I am infinitely grateful that I was lucky enough to end with him as my daddy. 

 

  Happy birthday daddy! I love you more than anything! 

Missionaries

  I promised myself I wouldn't blog about the missionary age changing, but I'm eating those words.  Haha.  Sometimes these things hit close to home and you have to write about them.
  As some of you may know, I have a cute little brother named Garrett who is 18 and attends BYU.  Here's a picture of him (don't tell him I called him cute, he hates that.)

He's just a little stud, ain't he?

  Anyway, as I may have mentioned once or twice in some older posts, me and a certain boy are kinda considering making this a permanent deal.  And while I don't want to create any false rumors, chances are really pretty darn good that after this school year, we might be tying the knot.  I think we're a cute couple.  Don't you?

  And now bringing the obvious to light...my cute little brother who is still just a little 5 year old in my mind is going to go on his mission now that the age has changed, instead of waiting till June after next semester.  Which means possibly missing some big events.  I am so excited for him to go and I fully support him, but it'll be hard not to have my whole family there on such an important, spiritual day.  I love my little brother so much and will be missing him more than anything, but I'm so glad that families are forever! Even if he does leave earlier than we originally planned, he will be making it possible for other families to be together forever. There is nothing more important he could be doing than that. And there is no greater blessing he could be bringing to anyone, including being there for me on just one special day.  I'm so excited for you to be a missionary Garrett, and I'm so proud of you for making choices that make it so you can go serve Heavenly Father for two years.  I love you little brother!

Fall, Humor, and SWAG (some words about girls)

  I LOVE FALL.  It is by far the best season of the year!! I am just going fall crazy with carving pumpkins and haunted whatever and pumpkin treats and sweaters and scarves and hot chocolate.

  So I'm sure you all know that I think I am the funniest person on the earth (except for maybe my mom and sister.  It must be blood). So in order to help you all enjoy how funny I am, here is a link so you can all enjoy my pinterest humor board. It is well worth your time. I promise.

  I am so glad midterms are almost over! Just two more days and then FREEDOM.  For a few days at least, haha.  Actually, I should be studying for my test, or preparing for my SI session in 3 hours, but I needed a therapeutic writing break. Oops.

  The more I use social media, the more the trends of social media bother me. I don't understand why people repin things on pinterest that have the caption "I want a love story like this!" under a picture of The Notebook or really, any other Nicholas Sparks book or TV show/movie couple. What's wrong with writing your own love story?! I feel like so many girls have ridiculous expectations of guys from the romance novels they read.  They're for entertainment purposes, people.  They are not guide books for real relationships.  So just because your boyfriend didn't get you a bouquet of roses once a week for the month leading up to your birthday, or didn't write you a letter every day for a year, or cancel his guy's night because he couldn't stand to spend a night away from your company- that doesn't mean he isn't your Prince Charming, or that he doesn't love or care about you.  I wish the media didn't portray that we all have to be so perfect, that there can't be any flaws or skeletons hiding in the closet, to have a perfect love story.  You don't have to overcome the world together to be together; sometimes just being each others world is enough.
  Don't get me wrong.  I love myself a good chick-flick as much as the next girl for sure.  But I am definitely worried about the up-and-coming generations that are exposed to this kind of "relationship" long before they ever experience a real-life relationship.  We've seen how the media has affected girls self-image,  and the results have been unarguably disastrous for many, many young girls- so isn't it at least plausible the media is affecting our thinking on other levels as well? Thank goodness for mommy's and daddy's whose relationships are the kind for us to strive after.  And what a huge responsibility for every parent out there.
  Maybe I'll write a book about it.  Become a nation-wide inspirational speaker about it.  Or maybe I'll just blog about it. Haha. 

Blah Blah Blogging! Finally.

  So maybe someone noticed that I suck at blogging lately...but hey! I have been incredibly busy.  In fact, this is the first time all week I've had more than half an hour to sit down and do what I want. So of course, I had to rewatch the season finale of Vampire Diaries season 3.  I may or may not have cried while watching it.  Again. Let's just say I will either be waking up early or ditching class Friday Oct. 12 since my first choir concert is on the day of the season premiere. 
 
   In other news, HOLY COW.  This semester has been nuts.  I work at USU during the week as an SI instructor for psychology 1010, which I LOVE.  I never thought I would love teaching, but I love being able to connect with these students and help them succeed.  This is a major reason I decided to switch my major emphasis to Marriage and Family Counseling.  I've had some confirmations that this is the right thing for me to do in my life, and I am SO EXCITED about it.  Besides SI, I still work at Firehouse on the weekends.  I love my coworkers, and I couldn't ask for a better in-school job.  I have 9 classes this semester, but only 15 credits.  Yes, it's unfortunate that all my music classes are only 1 credit, haha.  At least I am never bored.

  But as busy as I am, I have never been HAPPIER.  I am at such a great place in my life.  I feel like I have a million goals that are all coming together the way they are supposed to.  I know where I'm going in my life, and I have hit a spiritual sweet spot that I plan on improving on every day.  I am living with my oldest friend, and I have the greatest boyfriend of all time.  I have a fantastic family that loves and supports me in every possible way.  I am able to look back on the last year and see the Lord's hand in so much of it, including the times where I thought I was completely and utterly alone. 

  Of course I still have bad days, but it has become so much easier to find the silver lining, and to realize what's truly important in the long run.  I feel like I'm beginning to understand what it means to live in the world, but not of the world. 

  It's recognizing the little things every day that can make us smile.  It's helping others, even when it's not super convenient, and seeing the impact you can make on someone's life.  It's consciously giving thanks for the blessings Heavenly Father has given you.  It's focusing on others, instead of always yourself. 

  I am so grateful to have a man in my life that exemplifies all of these things and is constantly helping me to improve.  I think I'm going to keep him around.  Maybe for eternity.  :) We'll see ;)

Catching Up

Well hello my lovely readers! If any of you still check this blog. Haha.  I know it's been awhile, but hey, it's never too late to catch up, right?

  This summer has been one of the most challenging, yet rewarding, summers of my life.  Spring semester ended on a rather terrible note.  I didn't do nearly as well as I wanted on my finals, I was extremely stressed, unhappy, and really feeling completely alone. My self-esteem has never been as low as it was in April and May. I didn't know what I was doing for the summer, and none of the jobs I had applied for were going through. My life was kind of a wreck, emotionally and physically.

  I had no choice but to make some really drastic changes in my life.The first, and probably most drastic, was choosing to live in Logan for the summer for the first time.  I am so grateful my best friend's boyfriend lived in Logan so that she was willing to be my roommate, haha.  We moved in together and started job hunting.  After two weeks of really hard work, I managed to get a job at Firehouse Pizzeria. I have never been so grateful for a job in my life! I loved living with my best girl friend, she was a huge support to me and cracks me up all the time.

  The second change-and best change, in my opinion, was choosing to date one of my best friends.  He was the guy that I always went to throughout the school year when I needed advice or help with something.  He was my confidante, my example, and, all of my roommates agreed, the best guy we've ever known. He always knew how to make me laugh or smile even when I didn't want to.  And even though he accidentally punched me in the face in karate, he was still one of my best friends!  

  He was one of the only people there for me at the end of second semester when I thought I would never be able to recover from the heartache I was going through.  He was the only person able to see the real me in the midst of confusion and chaos. 

  So we started spending time together. A lot of time.  Okay, pretty much all our time.  He took me out on several dates and started hinting at something more long term.  But I got cold feet.  I felt that I couldn't date someone as good as him when I was so broken and I honestly didn't feel like I was good enough for him. However, something started to change. Just being around him was making me a better person, and he swears I was making him a better person as well, which still baffles me, but whatever.  And slowly, without me making a conscious decision, he suddenly became much more than a friend to me. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without him in it, and so I finally told him that I was ready.  

Best decision I ever made.

Justin is everything I have ever wanted in a boyfriend and best friend.  He makes me happier than I have ever been with anyone. I don't have doubts when I'm with him.  He makes me feel confident, respected, loved, and important.  He knows everything about me and still loves me for exactly who I am.  He is always encouraging me to be better. He does things with me other guys won't do-he takes care of me when I'm sick, he'll let me cry in front of him, he watches stupid chick flicks with me, he helps me cook, and he tells me everyday that I'm beautiful.

It's cliche, but God bless the broken road that led me straight to him. I'm not sure things would have worked out with him if I hadn't gone through some of the trials I've had the last year, and I thank my Heavenly Father that He helped me get through them and allowed me to grow and become a better person throughout the process. 

I'm sorry this post has been ridiculously mushy, but it's your own fault if you read all of it haha.  

The last bit of good news is that I got the Psych 1010 SI job that I applied for last April! I need this job really bad and am SO grateful it worked out in the end! 

I guess what I've learned most this summer is that Heavenly Father is always there.  No matter how hard the trial, no matter what mistakes we make along the way, He always loves us and is going to lead us down a path that will eventually lead to happiness, either in this life or the next.  It requires a whole lot of faith to truly believe that all things will work together for our good, and I still struggle with that principle a lot. However, He has taken such good care of me in my hard times, and I am so grateful in retrospect for the trials I have been given.  This life is not easy, but is so much easier when you finally understand that Heavenly Father and Christ are always on your side.

 

There are days when I stop believing. In love, kindness, charity, integrity, and hope. 

There are days where the world seems unbelievably cruel, harsh, unfair, condescending, and belittling.

There are some days when I don't feel like I have anyone there for me, and that the last thing I want to do is get out of bed and keep going. 

Some days, it's just too hard. 

Some days, it feels like it's just me against the world and there's no way I'll come out on top.

I just don't want to face being so

alone.

So here are my daily reminders:

 "Don't get discouraged. Everything will work out."  -Gordon B. Hinckley

"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life you have a thousand reasons to smile."

"What God knows about me is infinitely more important than what others think of me."

"I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me, or I can choose to move on and leave it behind."

"Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ." -Sheila Walsh

"Don't worry about someone who doesn't worry about you." -Wiz Khalifa

"Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along." -Rae Smith

Conference Weekend

I don't know if I've ever really fully appreciated how much I like being with my family on Conference weekend before. My parents were supposed to come home today from Vegas, but my momma got food poisoning, so they had to extend their stay (darn it, right? Okay, not really since she's sick.) Garrett is in Cali for a band trip, and Jade is old and married.

So it's just me home alone this weekend. I am definitely missing my family! I love those guys so much!

However, there are some perks to being home alone:

Nice long bubblebaths

Unlimited laundry time

Playing piano at midnight

Playing loud music throughout the house

Singing like a goober

Parking in the garage

However, we have no food...hmm. Guess I better go buy myself some ice cream or something for dinner. Just kidding, Mom.

Tomorrow I get to go down to the Conference center and sing outside to the protestors before the Sunday afternoon session. I'm so excited! Our YSA stake choir sounds GOOD, people. So come listen :) We also then get to attend the Sunday afternoon session which I need and am excited to get to go to.