On Grad School and Why I Won't Be Attending.

Last month, I made a huge life decision - I'm not applying for graduate school. Not now, and not in the foreseeable future. Grad school is something I had been planning on since I was in junior high, and when I was in high school, I decided I wanted to get my Ph.D. In my first two years of college, I kept developing these plans; I wanted to be a clinical psychologist and work with OCD patients specifically. Then, my junior year, I altered the plan - I was going to get my master's degree and work as a marriage and family therapist.

And then I married a boy, and real life hit me, hard. How on earth were we going to pay for him to go to med school for 4-6 years, and for me to go to grad school as well? Not to mention having to find programs within an hour of each other in the same state, and both get accepted. So, after praying, fasting, and attending the temple to find out the Lord's will on the subject, I received great peace that right now isn't the time for me to go to grad school. Although it greatly altered my career plans - not to mention the next four years of schooling that are no longer going to happen - I don't for one second regret the decision to marry Justin when I did. Nothing is more important to me than our little eternal family.

However, I soon realized that the world didn't receive the same revelation I did, nor did they necessarily understand it. I felt awkward explaining to family that I wasn't applying anymore, that not only could we not afford it, that the overall reason was that it just didn't feel right. I felt like a failure. Like I was letting everyone down by not continuing my education. Like I was taking the easy route.

 Harder even than that was trying to justify myself to coworkers, supervisors, and fellow students that are in the midst of applying right now - didn't I know that there are tons of students that are going to grad school while their spouse is in med school; what makes me think I can't be one of them? And worse than that, having people ask me what on earth I'm going to do with a bachelor's degree in psychology, everyone knows that you can't get a real job with that degree.

Needless to say, a decision that I originally felt at peace about has become a choice much harder to live with than I first anticipated. I have spent days agonizing over whether or not I'll be able to get a good enough job to support us while Justin's in med school, and wondering if I wasted four years of hard work getting a degree in something "useless," regardless of my love for the subject. In today's world, a master's degree has become the equivalent of what a bachelor's degree used to be.

When I was younger, yes, I wanted a career before I got married and had kids. I wouldn't have minded if I had graduated, gotten my master's degree, and then worked as a marriage and family therapist for a few years. But then I met Justin, and I made the best decision of my entire life (eternity, really) and married him. Not going to grad school can't even be called a sacrifice; I would do it all again, happily, to meet, fall in love with, and marry Justin. So I have had to alter my plan, again. Instead of getting my master's and being an MFT for a few years, I will be working with my plain old bachelor's degree, and in a few years, I will have the greatest blessing of all of being a mommy. Regardless of what the world says, there isn't a job in the world I want more than to be a mom. And if you want to debate about what a stay at home mom would earn if she got paid in more than hugs, kisses, and dirt, here's a great article from Forbes to answer that question.

I'm so grateful for a supportive husband that accepts my decisions, and has been amazing through all of this. I don't know what I would do without him to help me recognize my strengths and buoy me up when I feel down.

I most likely won't ever be a marriage and family therapist like I once dreamed. But it's okay. And it always will be okay, because I don't need a master's degree to feel good about myself, my job, or my life - I've got the right education for me, I've got my talents and abilities, I've got an amazing husband and supportive family, a loving Heavenly Father that loves me even with "just" a bachelor's degree, and now, I finally have the right attitude.

A Service Opportunity for You

Halloween is over, and you know what that means, right?

Christmas music, Christmas movies, and most of all, Christmas spirit!

No disrespect to Thanksgiving - I just get really excited about Christmas. It's nothing personal, Thanksgiving.

And while the whole "Christmas spirit" may sound incredibly cheesy, it really is my favorite part of the holiday season. I love the outpouring of service, kindness, and thoughtfulness between family, friends, and complete strangers. I know that I always wish I could find a way to be involved in some sort of service around the holiday season, and that it can sometimes be hard to find time to volunteer or set up a project to help others. Which is why I'm making this post today.

I have a dear friend named Nicholette.

Isn't she just the cutest? I love this girl.

Nicky is someone I've known for years now, and if I only could use one word to describe her, it would be selfless. She is constantly looking for and taking advantage of opportunities to help others. I could write an entire novel about all the things she has done for just me, let alone her family, whom she is devoted to, and her other numerous friends. 

But there is one thing in particular Nicky has done for others that I'd like to write about today. For 10 years now, Nicky has given up her birthday (Dec. 11) in order to help others. Instead of presents, she asks for people to donate stuffed animals and blankets to take to Primary Children's in December and hands them out to the kids there. In the last couple of years, she has also started putting together care packages as well to hand out to the homeless. 

Since the age of 12, Nicky has sacrificed a day dedicated to her, her own personal holiday, for the good of others. I don't know about you, but I don't know if I could do that. But I do know that Nicky makes me want to be a better person and help others more. 

So, I want to help her achieve her 10-year anniversary goal: to make 100 care packages to hand out in Salt Lake this December. But she can't do it on her own- she needs my help, and your help. I would encourage all of you readers to help - it doesn't have to be big. Just a pair of gloves, a toothbrush, a scarf, a blanket. Something you can buy for just a few dollars at Walmart. Any items you wish to donate can be sent to me (FB message me or leave a comment for my mailing address, or let me know if you need me to come pick it up) by DEC. 1.

Christmas is such a great opportunity to be part of something bigger, and I am so grateful for Nicholette for giving me - and you - the chance to do so. Help her to change some lives this holiday season.

For a full list of items you can donate, please see the following link:

Birthday Blanket Bash