One Mormon's thoughts on Ordaining Women

I have a terrible habit where I love to read controversial articles and then read the accompanying comment boards. The most recent child of this obsession has been Ordain Women.

I've visited their website, read their mission statement, stalked them on instagram (#ordainwomen), read multiple news articles about them from the last year, and read way, way too many comment boards supplied by a huge variety of people on both sides of the argument.

To call this frustrating is an understatement. It seems simple to me - if you, as an "active member" of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (which they profess to be), you either sustain Thomas S. Monson as the prophet of the church, entitled with his counselors to receive revelation from God for the entire church, or you don't. 

There is no gray area. 

End of story. Right?

Wrong. These women are determined to get the priesthood. They are determined to change the mind's of these brethren in the name of "equality."

Okay, fine, they want equality. I can understand that. I want equality, too. Everyone should be equal. So let's see what the brethren have to say about women's roles in the church. 

“The Lord has directed that only men will be ordained to offices in the priesthood. But, as various Church leaders have emphasized, men are not ‘the priesthood.’ Men hold the priesthood, with a sacred duty to use it for the blessing of all of the children of God. In the eyes of God, whether in the Church or in the family, women and men are equal, with different responsibilities.” 
-Elder Dallin H. Oaks, member of the quorum of the twelve apostles

And let's not forget the Proclamation to the World on the subject that has been around for several years now and explicitly states men and women's roles according to God. 

That being said, let's go back to their mission statement. here it is, directly from their website:

"We are LDS women who, without hesitation, sustain the Lord's prophet, the Family Proclamation as doctrine and our divine role as covenant women for Christ." 

(Okay, let's just point out that Elder Oaks declaring this during the priesthood session - which, ironically, these sisters missed, because they were standing in line outside the tabernacle trying to get tickets, despite the church asking them not to do this in a letter the previous month. They could have watched it in their homes, on their laptops, or listened to a radio broadcast. But instead, they were taking pictures of themselves standing in a 200+ person line outside in the rain.)

So which is it, ladies? Do you support and sustain these brethren, or do you not? If you believe they speak for God, then act like it. If you don't believe it...well, I can tell you this. The church will not - and never has - changed doctrine based on the protests and well-meaning members. So stop trying to force God to change His own doctrine, and His own gospel.

You already have the answer. As one of my favorite quotes says, "Don't let Satan put a question mark where God has already put a period." 

Along those lines,

"Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith"
-President Utchdorf

I am an active member of this church. I love this gospel. It has literally saved me in every way. It is, by far, the greatest gift I have, and ever will, receive. I have my own testimony of this work, of its truth, and of the divinity of my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. I know that President Thomas S. Monson leads and directs this church according to God's will and under His direction. 

So guess what? If the Lord's servants say I'm equal to men, then I'm equal. If they say I am not supposed to hold the priesthood, I'm not. Not because I'm inferior, but because that's just not my responsibility. 

I have never felt inferior in this gospel. Sometimes a member may say something offensive, or unkind, but they are not the gospel. While the members are not perfect, God is. And this church is His - not ours. 

I know these men speak for God, and that He loves me as His daughter. I have been so blessed to have such wonderful priesthood holders in my life, and I am incredibly grateful for these men of God. I know, with all my heart, this church is true. And for me, that is enough.

Sloan

"Strawberry Surf Rider for....Slowun..."

With a chuckle and an exasperated look at my husband, I get off my stool at Jamba Juice to retrieve my smoothie.  Close enough. In fact, much better than usual. When you think about it, "slowun" or "slow-ann" makes much more sense than "salone." I mean, come on, the "a" comes after the "o." I'll give you a 7 out of 10, and an A for effort. Most of the time, people will squint at my name on the little sheet of paper, and then just yell out what the order contains.

It's actually a kind of fun game. I have a collection of photos from various restaurants, businesses, and pieces of mail with my name *almost* on them.

This lovely example from Kneader's is (surprisingly) the most common misspelling of my name I come across. Other misspellings pop up every so often: "Sloane" (acceptable), "Salone" (less acceptable), "Slon" (what?), and my personal favorite, "Slum" (really? no, seriously, really?!).

I've been called Mr. Sloan, received emails from school teachers and school counselors that referred to me as a "he," and my name is literally a boy name in its oldest form.

It's Gaelic for "warrior..." and there is only a male translation of the name. No female option. Nada.

Every gas station I've visited, every amusement park, every little ma-and-pa shop with personalized keychains, jewelry, and mugs has been a disappointment. For some reason, "Sloan" is just not on these very generalized, popular-names-only, keepsakes.

But at least in Utah, people are somewhat familiar with the name due to a well-known, NBA Hall of Fame coach.

No, I wasn't named after Jerry Sloan. And, no, if my first name was Jerry, my name would not be Jerry Sloan. It would be Jerry Judd. Or Jerry Millward in the old days. Sorry, kid in my seminary class. Next time, think before you ask that question.

No, the real story is that there used to be a TV reporter named Sloan Brown, and my mom liked the name. When she and my dad came across it in a baby book years later, they still liked it. And that is the whole story.

I know, riveting.

But all joking aside, I love my name. In all honesty, thanks, Mom and Dad. There hasn't been a day that I wanted a different name, not even when I got called Slum. In junior high if I heard ".....Sloan....." on the intercom, I didn't have to wonder, "Gee, did they mean Sloan Millward, or Sloan Smith, or Sloan Johnson...?" I love being unique. Not to mention I think it's a beautiful name. Is it a popular name? No. In fact, it barely scraped its way into the top 1000 most popular girl names in 2012.

But no one can deny the rising familiarity with this name. Watch out, world, because the Sloan's are going to take over. Not in an Emily, Sarah, Katie kind of way, but in a "what was that (insert positive adjective here) name?" way while you're watching TV. Don't believe me? Check out these super  famous examples of Sloan's (besides me, of course.)

MIT Sloan. The business college at MIT. MIT, PEOPLE. That's a pretty big deal. 

Check out these hot dudes. This Canadian band has been around since 1991 and is still at it. According to Wikipedia, the name was based on a friend's nickname - "slow-one." But with their French accents, it sounded like Sloan. Not the most flattering origin, but hey, I'll take it.

Ferris Bueller's girlfriend. And if that's not the biggest claim to fame, I don't know what is. What teenage boy wasn't in love with her by the end of the movie?

Dr. Mark Sloan, Grey's Anatomy. Look at his face. I don't think I need to say anything else.

From one of my favorite TV shows, the Vampire Diaries. They recently added this Sloan to the show, and I was stoked (and very confused) to hear my name coming from the television. You go, CW.

Remember this girl from Raise Your Voice? No? Well, now I know who didn't ever watch Hilary Duff movies. Anyway, while she may be anti-social, awkward, and kind of a nerd (doesn't sound like anyone I know named Sloan...), she's also kind of awesome. Or at least amazing at the piano.

People live and die. But there is one thing that will forever immortalize the name Sloan. You see it often, some of you on a daily basis. Sloan, the valve company. As one friend once texted me, "My brother wants you to know that every time he pees in a Sloan urinal, he thinks of you." Probably one of the creepiest texts I've ever gotten, but hey, what a way to make sure people think of you! So next time your toilet flushes automatically for you, next time you visit an airport, a hotel, or an amusement park and the soap dispenses for you, the faucet automatically turns on, check. Check for Sloan. Check for those five little letters that will undeniably make you think of me for the rest of your life. 

Because folks, Sloan isn't going out of style - it's the new style. Let me leave you with the wise words of Urban Dictionary - and, personally, my favorite definition of Sloan - 

"A name which can be a woman's or a man's name. Sloan's may have their names on urinals and toilets, but they are sensitive, caring, and nice to those around them."

The Blanket Bash Culmination

Before you read this post, read this one first. Because it explains why I'm writing this post. It'll make a lot more sense if you read that post first.

  I've already introduced my readers to Nicholette (if you missed that post, check it out here). After writing my blog post about her and her birthday blanket bash, I thought to myself, gee, I wish I could do more than write a blog post that gets about 20 views if I'm super-duper lucky. I wanted to really help. I wanted to find a way to make a difference, and a big one at that. 

After putting some thought into it, I remembered a program I had heard about on KUTV's website called Pay It Forward (see here). Basically, it's a program that gives extra help to people who need money to go towards a good cause. After reading the requirements, and realizing that Nicky fulfilled all of them, I decided to nominate her. 

The next week, one of the producers called me and asked me some more questions about Nicky, her project, and how we could secretly get her the help she needed without her knowing. With some help from Nicky's mom, we managed to set up an interview with one of the producers for the next Wednesday. I can't thank Nick's mom enough for letting me FaceTime the entire interview! I was so, so excited to see her reaction when she found out the interview was much more than a heartwarming Christmas story about charity.

So Wednesday arrived, and Nicky's mom pretended to be recording whilst truly allowing me to watch the interview via FaceTime (thanks, Apple). After asking a bunch of questions, the producer said, "Well, Nicholette, if you're going to reach your goal, you're going to need a lot more help than this." And then the CEO from Mountain America Credit Union stood up and presented Nicholette with an envelope containing $500, all going towards the birthday blanket bash! It was a very humbling, amazing experience to watch as Nicky's eyes filled with tears as the producer ratted me out and I got to talk to her for a second before she got some photos taken with her mom and sister for the article. By taking five minutes out of my daily life, I was able to help bring to light something - and someone - that truly deserved it.

Since that experience, I have been able to go shopping for supplies with Nicky. It was great to watch the way her face lit up when she explained to a confused cashier why she is buying just 32 coloring books or 24 packs of crayons, and the joy that she gains from helping others.

If this experience hasn't taught me the true spirit of Christmas, I don't know what will. It has been incredible to get to be a small part of Nicky's tradition, and to be able to help as much as I can. I am so, so grateful to Nick for giving me the chance to be part of this, and to help her serve as many people as possible.

 Because of the help she has received from numerous and generous friends, family, and acquaintances, Nicky's goal of 100 care packages, as well as 50 blankets and stuffed animals for Primary Children's, is within reach.

Nicky will be featured on KUTV's Pay it Forward program this upcoming Wednesday, Dec. 11 (Nicky's Birthday!!!) both on their television show, as well as online, so please take a moment to watch it. On Dec. 20 and 21, Nicky will get to go to Primary Children's as well as SLC to hand out her blankets, stuffed animals, and care packages, and have the biggest (and hopefully best) blanket bash yet. Congratulations, Nicholette!

On Grad School and Why I Won't Be Attending.

Last month, I made a huge life decision - I'm not applying for graduate school. Not now, and not in the foreseeable future. Grad school is something I had been planning on since I was in junior high, and when I was in high school, I decided I wanted to get my Ph.D. In my first two years of college, I kept developing these plans; I wanted to be a clinical psychologist and work with OCD patients specifically. Then, my junior year, I altered the plan - I was going to get my master's degree and work as a marriage and family therapist.

And then I married a boy, and real life hit me, hard. How on earth were we going to pay for him to go to med school for 4-6 years, and for me to go to grad school as well? Not to mention having to find programs within an hour of each other in the same state, and both get accepted. So, after praying, fasting, and attending the temple to find out the Lord's will on the subject, I received great peace that right now isn't the time for me to go to grad school. Although it greatly altered my career plans - not to mention the next four years of schooling that are no longer going to happen - I don't for one second regret the decision to marry Justin when I did. Nothing is more important to me than our little eternal family.

However, I soon realized that the world didn't receive the same revelation I did, nor did they necessarily understand it. I felt awkward explaining to family that I wasn't applying anymore, that not only could we not afford it, that the overall reason was that it just didn't feel right. I felt like a failure. Like I was letting everyone down by not continuing my education. Like I was taking the easy route.

 Harder even than that was trying to justify myself to coworkers, supervisors, and fellow students that are in the midst of applying right now - didn't I know that there are tons of students that are going to grad school while their spouse is in med school; what makes me think I can't be one of them? And worse than that, having people ask me what on earth I'm going to do with a bachelor's degree in psychology, everyone knows that you can't get a real job with that degree.

Needless to say, a decision that I originally felt at peace about has become a choice much harder to live with than I first anticipated. I have spent days agonizing over whether or not I'll be able to get a good enough job to support us while Justin's in med school, and wondering if I wasted four years of hard work getting a degree in something "useless," regardless of my love for the subject. In today's world, a master's degree has become the equivalent of what a bachelor's degree used to be.

When I was younger, yes, I wanted a career before I got married and had kids. I wouldn't have minded if I had graduated, gotten my master's degree, and then worked as a marriage and family therapist for a few years. But then I met Justin, and I made the best decision of my entire life (eternity, really) and married him. Not going to grad school can't even be called a sacrifice; I would do it all again, happily, to meet, fall in love with, and marry Justin. So I have had to alter my plan, again. Instead of getting my master's and being an MFT for a few years, I will be working with my plain old bachelor's degree, and in a few years, I will have the greatest blessing of all of being a mommy. Regardless of what the world says, there isn't a job in the world I want more than to be a mom. And if you want to debate about what a stay at home mom would earn if she got paid in more than hugs, kisses, and dirt, here's a great article from Forbes to answer that question.

I'm so grateful for a supportive husband that accepts my decisions, and has been amazing through all of this. I don't know what I would do without him to help me recognize my strengths and buoy me up when I feel down.

I most likely won't ever be a marriage and family therapist like I once dreamed. But it's okay. And it always will be okay, because I don't need a master's degree to feel good about myself, my job, or my life - I've got the right education for me, I've got my talents and abilities, I've got an amazing husband and supportive family, a loving Heavenly Father that loves me even with "just" a bachelor's degree, and now, I finally have the right attitude.

A Service Opportunity for You

Halloween is over, and you know what that means, right?

Christmas music, Christmas movies, and most of all, Christmas spirit!

No disrespect to Thanksgiving - I just get really excited about Christmas. It's nothing personal, Thanksgiving.

And while the whole "Christmas spirit" may sound incredibly cheesy, it really is my favorite part of the holiday season. I love the outpouring of service, kindness, and thoughtfulness between family, friends, and complete strangers. I know that I always wish I could find a way to be involved in some sort of service around the holiday season, and that it can sometimes be hard to find time to volunteer or set up a project to help others. Which is why I'm making this post today.

I have a dear friend named Nicholette.

Isn't she just the cutest? I love this girl.

Nicky is someone I've known for years now, and if I only could use one word to describe her, it would be selfless. She is constantly looking for and taking advantage of opportunities to help others. I could write an entire novel about all the things she has done for just me, let alone her family, whom she is devoted to, and her other numerous friends. 

But there is one thing in particular Nicky has done for others that I'd like to write about today. For 10 years now, Nicky has given up her birthday (Dec. 11) in order to help others. Instead of presents, she asks for people to donate stuffed animals and blankets to take to Primary Children's in December and hands them out to the kids there. In the last couple of years, she has also started putting together care packages as well to hand out to the homeless. 

Since the age of 12, Nicky has sacrificed a day dedicated to her, her own personal holiday, for the good of others. I don't know about you, but I don't know if I could do that. But I do know that Nicky makes me want to be a better person and help others more. 

So, I want to help her achieve her 10-year anniversary goal: to make 100 care packages to hand out in Salt Lake this December. But she can't do it on her own- she needs my help, and your help. I would encourage all of you readers to help - it doesn't have to be big. Just a pair of gloves, a toothbrush, a scarf, a blanket. Something you can buy for just a few dollars at Walmart. Any items you wish to donate can be sent to me (FB message me or leave a comment for my mailing address, or let me know if you need me to come pick it up) by DEC. 1.

Christmas is such a great opportunity to be part of something bigger, and I am so grateful for Nicholette for giving me - and you - the chance to do so. Help her to change some lives this holiday season.

For a full list of items you can donate, please see the following link:

Birthday Blanket Bash

This post is all about you - yes, you!

Okay, turns out I kind of suck at blogging now that I'm married. Oops. It's probably because I know I just can't top my own love story! Haha...just kidding, guys.

But I don't want to write about my life today. I want to write about an idea. This is an idea I got the summer after my freshman year, waaaaay back in 2011 (okay, only two years ago, but it feels like ages). I was working at Jerry Seiner car dealership, and had a bazillion hours to kill during my 8 hour shifts. So, I decided I was going to write a letter to anyone from high school that had had an influence on me (for the record, I don't claim the creative rights to coming up with this idea - I'm sure I heard it from someone else first). My best friends, my good friends, my somewhat-good friends...almost all of them got a letter (I think...if you're reading this and didn't get one and feel you should have, feel free to write me a (nice) complaint in the comments section below). In that letter, I told them what they had done for me, why it was important to me, and the lasting influence they had on my life. I wanted these people to be recognized, to feel appreciated, and most of all, to realize that you don't have to be a superhero or super unique or amazing to change someone's life. Each of us can significantly influence people we come in contact with - every day.

So that's my challenge to you, blog readers. Pick someone. Anyone. I don't care if it's someone on the bus that smiles at you every day, your mom, your old piano teacher, whatever! Just pick someone that has changed your life, in small ways or big ways, and write them a letter. Let them know what they've done to help you. Make it short, or make it long. Sign it, or leave it anonymous.

Then, SEND IT. It's not enough to just write it. Send it to that person. I guarantee it will make their day. How do I know it will? Because it would make my day if someone sent me a letter and told me why they thought I was the cat's pajamas! Wouldn't it make yours?

So please, take this opportunity this week to thank someone that has influenced you. Keep the good karma going. :)

Then, leave me a comment - let me know you did it! I promise I'll send more good feelings your way, and it makes me happy to know you are making someone else happy :)

Good luck!!

Life of a Jobless Housewife

  Let's say you watch a fast-paced action movie for two hours, and then, right before the climax of the movie, someone hits pause. For hours. And you are waiting on tenterhooks to see what the next scene will be.

  That's pretty much how I'm feeling right now. After school, finals, wedding planning, moving, moving again, moving for a third time, the actual wedding, the honeymoon, dropping off little bro at the MTC, and then finally coming back to Logan to settle down...what happens next?

  Justin works two jobs right now, one during the day, and one two or three nights a week. And where does that leave me, the unemployed one? Home. All day. With the upstairs neighbors that don't speak English.

  It's not that I'm not trying - goodness knows I've been trying. Well, not trying to speak to the neighbors. I just don't know any Burmese. But after 25 job applications filled out, and being told "we filled that position last week" multiple times, it's hard not to be discouraged. I'm left to doing laundry (check), unpacking every possible box (check), cleaning rooms multiple times a week (check), and cooking every night (okay, I actually enjoy cooking. So that's good). It was fine for the first week when I had a million things I needed to get  done. Not so much now.

  Goodbye Sloan, hello crazy.

  I need to find some married friends in Logan. Or even a single girl that will spend time with me. For like an hour. To get ice cream and have girl talk.

  I'm taking applications for those positions. And I can almost guarantee you'll be hired.