For My Sister

  Today is a very special day.  Not only is it finally warm enough for snow to be melting in Logan, but it is my very favorite sister's birthday.  And don't worry Jade, you'd still be my favorite sister even if you weren't my only one :)

  For those of you that don't know my sister, you are missing out.  Jade has been my role model since I was able to understand what a big sister (and a role model, I suppose) was.  Although she is 3 years older than me, she would still play with me up until I turned about 12.  Haha.  We spent countless summers playing Barbies in her walk-in closet, creating Barbie habitats in the basement (much to my parent's dismay), washing them in the sink, the tub, and the washing machine (until it took Ken's leg.  Poor Ken).  Jade was so cool to all of us cousins because she had a video camera which we used to make movies.  I really hope she still has all of them.  Even when she was almost too cool to play with her little sister (around 15), she still spent hours with me recording Barbie "Lord of the Rings" auditions.  We were just that original.  One of my favorite memories with Jade is sitting on her giant, blue, blow up armchair and playing synchronized Pokemon Yellow version on our Gameboy Colors.

  My sister is beautiful.  Allll growing up, I wanted to look just like her.  In my mind, she was perfect. I loved being at home when she went to dances, because I loved seeing her dressed up like a princess waiting for Prince Charming (sometimes...not so charming...haha) to come pick her up. On her wedding day, I remember thinking that if I could be half as pretty as Jade on my wedding day, I would be so happy.  I have never seen a more beautiful bride.

  But my sister isn't just looks.  She is legitimately the funniest person I know.  I always, always laugh hardest with her.  She is someone that perfectly understands my sense of humor. Most of our texting communication is texting memes back and forth because we know we can crack each other up.  She is spontaneous.  Last year for Easter, we made the mistake of going to a pet store, where there was a sale on baby chicks.  Somehow between the two of us, we ended up with 3 baby chickens to give to Cord for Easter.  We had to take them inside of a car dealership while Jade had her car serviced, and got several strange looks from the gentleman next to us who couldn't figure out why we had chirping boxes on our laps.  She is one of the funnest people to go grocery shopping with, because she'll buy weird foreign fruits to try with me. Kumquats are good, people.

  As we've grown older, I've come to treasure my relationship with my sister so much more.  When I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years after my freshman year of college, my sister held me for half an hour when she came in my room and found me sobbing underneath my covers.  She has been there for me through my hardest trials when no one else was and there was no one else I trusted.  She has always had time for me when I've needed her, no matter how small my problem.

  I love spending time with Jade, especially in somewhere related to Disney.  Last August, even though she's 23 (24 now) and was nearly 20, both of us left Disneyland with pillow pets, namely Stitch and Simba.  She used to purchase the Birnbaum Guide to Disney World nearly every year, just to read it.  I love sitting next to her on rides because she is such a Disney freak with me-maybe even more so.  She doesn't take pictures of her family at Disneyland, just the Disney characters in the parades.  We'll work on that.

  I love my big sister!  I don't know what I would do without her in my life.  As we've gotten older and she's gotten married and moved away from home, I have come to appreciate what she means to me even more, both as a friend and a sibling.  I am so grateful that my family is forever, and that I will always get to have Jade as my sister.

  Happy 24th Birthday Jadey!
 

O-Fish. And Swedish Kisses. Haha.

  When the semester ended, I moved to my new apartment with some help from Mr. Justin and a couple of his old roommates.  Justin stayed in Logan as a vagabond for a week or so looking for an apartment (which really meant he spent his days at my apartment because I actually had air conditioning and slept at Dan's house). My roommate/best friend Elise's boyfriend lived in Logan, which meant I spent all of my time with Cory & Elise and Justin. Luckily for me (and Justin, haha), I suddenly was spending "couple time" with Justin; "couple time" being defined as "we kinda like each other and since we spend all our time with a real couple it's okay to hold hands and cuddle all the time." Thanks, Cory and Elise.

  Justin found an apartment to move into, but he had to go home for a few days to pick his stuff up.  We spent one last evening together watching a movie (with Cory and Elise. Of course. And some girl's puppy that we were puppysitting). I walked him downstairs to say goodbye when he said he had to drive home, and after we hugged, we both kinda...lingered. So we went in for another hug-and this is where our stories differ-Justin claims that I turned my head and looked right up at him with our lips centimeters apart, but I swear all I did was try to hug him.  However, I was definitely not going to say no to him trying to kiss me-which I'm positive he did all on his own. Hehe.  It was magical.  And perfect.  And it was finally the right time for it.

  So Justin drove home and I stayed in Logan and thought about everything and tried to figure out what I wanted.  Did I want a relationship finally? Or still no? I did know that I missed Justin way more than I thought I would.  It was the first time since Christmas break we had gone this long without seeing each other, and to my great surprise, it was killing me.  
  
  But when Justin got back and told me if I was ready, he wanted me to be his girlfriend, I couldn't do it. We continued to spend literally all our time together, and then we both landed a job at the same restaurant.  I just wasn't ready to commit.  The end of the semester had been really hard for me, and I wasn't able to jump into something this serious-because I knew it would be serious-immediately.  

  At the end of May, my mom invited the two of us to come down and go out to dinner for my little brother's seminary graduation with my family and my grandparents.  When we got to Cheesecake Factory in Salt Lake, my grandma asked me who this boy I brought with me was, and I awkwardly replied "this is my....friend...Justin." 

  A few days later, after I went and met his parents for the first time, (STRESS.  Just kidding, his family is awesome. But meeting people makes me so nervous.) we were driving back to Logan.  As we were driving, I told him that I wasn't okay with things.  I told him how much it was bothering me to have told my grandma he was "just my friend."  On May 29, 2012, we FINALLY decided to make this thing official.  Not like FB official yet, but like for reals official.  

  And that is the story of how me and Justin Judd went from being acquaintances, to friends, to good friends, to awkward friends/more than friends, to more than friends but still awkwardly not official, to boyfriend and girlfriend! Justin is everything I've ever wanted in a man-handsome, athletic (okay, those two were just added benefits), kind, honest, funny, hardworking, intelligent, sincere, and most importantly a man of God.  Throughout the school year he was able to give me several blessings from my Heavenly Father as a worthy priesthood holder that helped me get through some REALLY hard times.  I love Justin with all my heart and could not be more excited to start a family with him! I don't know how I got lucky enough to end up with a guy like him, but I will be thanking my Heavenly Father everyday for the rest of eternity for putting Justin in my life and helping me finally wise-up enough to realize that even though I didn't feel like I matched up to him in any way at all, that this was right-for me, for Justin, and most definitely for our future. I'm sure our future children all gave a huge sigh of relief when I FINALLY figured this out. Haha.

  Only 97 more days until I become the very lucky and very happy wife of Justin Judd :)

Slow and Steady Wins the Race...aka Mr. Nice Guy

  The semester was finally coming to a close, and I made a huge decision to stay up in Logan to find a job for the summer with my best friend Elise instead of moving home and working there for a few months.  I wanted a job that would carry through to the school year.  This will tie in later, I promise.

  Right before the semester ended, I finally decided I liked Justin enough to cuddle for reals with him, instead of being an awkward semi-participant.  Also, we both kinda got the "ok" from our roommates that had dated the other person that year.  Green means go! We watched a movie together (finally) and cuddled (it wasn't even awkward this time!)  We were super close and I teasingly asked him if he was going to kiss me.  His answer really stopped me, because it was so genuine and so unexpected: "I don't want our first kiss to be like this."

  And that was the moment I finally fell for Justin Judd.  Up until that point, I hadn't been sure that he had real feelings, or "I'm lonely and need a cuddle buddy" feelings.  Having him say no when so many other guys would have said yes was the deal-breaker for me.  Intead of just seeing him as an older brother figure like I kept telling my roommate, there were finally real, live feelings there!
  
  Again, I wish I could say that "falling" =  "finally got a clue", or  "our relationship bloomed into some amazing surreal beautiful thing"...but I was still like ehhhhh...I don't know if I'm ready for a "real relationship" after my last one was such a disaster.  So snail-pace decisions ensued.

  On the last day of school (literally all of my roommates besides one were moving out that day), Justin asked me if I wanted to go on a date to see the Avengers with him.  Because I'm a sucker for free food, Marvel superheroes, and cute boys, I said yes.  In between all our move-out cleaning, Justin took me on what I consider our first "real" date, because it was finally a "we both kinda like each other" date not a "I punched you in the face and I'm sorry and I'm attracted to you" date.  We went to a pizza place in downtown Logan and had a really great time.  When we got to the movie, we sat next to a couple of albinos (unrelated super cool fact about the first time I ever saw an albino in real life.  Moving on.)  We held hands and it was cute and then he dropped me off.  It was such a fun date, but I still wasn't taking everything serious because he was moving home and I was staying in Logan.  (I told you it would tie in later.)

  But then Justin also made a huge decision-HE was going to stay in Logan for the summer, if he could find somewhere to live, but only IF he could.  (Okay, obvi he does.  But that's in the next chapter.)

  It's amazing Justin was able to go through all my indecisiveness period and still keep going for it.  Lucky for me, he seemed to see in me what even I couldn't see in me.  However, by the end of May, things were really starting to take off....

Fists of Fury (Because I hadn't gone out with him yet.)

  Spring Break ended (unfortunately), and all of us returned to USU.  Justin and I continued to be good friends, but that's it.  As the months got warmer, we started playing tennis together after karate class.  On one of these occasions, we went to the creamery to get ice cream (which he paid for) after we had played.  We sat in the creamery for nearly an hour and a half just talking-about dating, about life, just whatever.  Neither of us called it a date, since we were both trying to date other people at the time.  

  However, a first date was becoming inevitable it seemed.  After the Hunger Games premiere, we spent a couple hours in the lobby of Pineview talking.  He would come to my apartment or I would go to his to just talk. We spent nearly every weekend together hanging out or watching movies.  

  Things came to a head (mine, to be specific) one spring day in April in kajukenbo.  We were practicing a block in class with our partners.  It was Justin's turn to punch and mine to block at the moment.  However, I didn't do a very good job.  Actually, I pretty much just sucked. One second he's punching, and the next second I realize I'm blocking-with my face. Suddenly my nose feels like it is on fire and tears are streaming from my eyes before I can really react to the pain.  Justin immediately apologized with deer-in-the-headlight eyes and I hurried and ran to the bathroom after assuring him it was okay so I could cry in private.  However, I pretty much just started crying from shock for the next two hours whenever anyone asked if I was okay.  My nose, over the course of the next week, turned a lovely shade of black and blue to yellow and green.  Not long after this happened, I had a really bad day.  Justin told me that he owed me dinner anyway for punching me in the face and asked me to go to dinner with him.  I agreed, and we went on our first date to Noodles and Co.  

  Justin likes to tell everyone that he had to punch me in the face to knock some sense into me.  I like to tell people that he had to threaten me to get me to go out with him.  I'd like to say things took off immediately after our first date, but they didn't. Our relationship didn't come fast or particularly easy.  But it did strengthen our friendship and make me realize what an incredible friend he was.

  Will I ever stop friend-zoning Justin? Or will we forever be doomed to be "just friends?"

  Okay, I gotta stop with the stupid cliff-hangers.  We all know we're engaged now.  Der der der.  

  Whatever.  It's fun for me.

  Until next time...

Irony and Such

  It's a Saturday night and I have nothing to do while Justin is at work.  I could probably be doing homework.  Or doing something productive.  But I'm blogging.  Does that count as journal writing? Which is productive, right...?
  
  Dan and I went on some dates and went country swing dancing and hung out a lot over the course of the school year.  Even when we weren't romantically involved anymore, we still were good friends. Because of this, I spent a lot of time with his roommates.  But there was one other main reason I saw Justin a lot-he dated MY roommate first semester.  

  Okay, maybe it's only funny to me that we dated each other's roommates first, and now we're getting married. Anyone else find that at all ironic?

  No one?

  Okay, maybe you had to be there.  Or be me.  Moving on.

  When Fall semester was coming to a close last year, I had a conversation with Justin about classes for next semester in which I told him I was signed up for Kajukenbo (aka street fighting karate).  He showed some interest and I convinced him to sign up with me so I would have a friendly face in the class. 

  Still a story for another time.

  Justin and I spent a LOT of time together as just friends first and second semester - we went on grocery shopping trips together, played Sunday games together with our roommates, watched movies at each other's apartments, went together to dances and campus activities with our roommates, you name it.  

  But then things very, very, VERY slowly started to change.  It all started in St. George...(at least for me, haha.  He'll say it was much sooner than that.) For Spring Break, my roommate Ashley, her best friend from home, and I decided to go to Vegas. We stopped at Dan's dad's house in St. George for a day on the way, where Dan and Justin were staying for the break.  

  I remember being struck by how much fun I always had with Justin; he was always willing to go out and be spontaneous.  Not crazy, but fun.  At the end of the night, our group watched a movie at a club house.  Somehow, I ended up next to Justin in a kind of forced cuddle (I think you all know what I mean by this-sometimes you just get in a circumstance where you have no choice but to sit that close to someone, no matter what your intentions.  Can I get an amen?) 

  Anyway, I felt so awkward.  What was he doing, crossing lines like that? I had dated his roommate, he had dated mine, and the whole thing was so weird and uncomfortable.  So, I acted like nothing had happened, laughed it off, and moved on.

  We ended up running into the boys again in Vegas.  I remember thinking how much I loved these guys.  I had the best neighbors ever and I LOVED spending time with them.  

  In retrospect, this trip was a turning point-albeit a largely unnoticed one-in my relationship with Justin.  He wasn't just that guy I saw at school sometimes anymore.  Suddenly he was someone I wanted to see outside of school and spend more time with.  

  Maybe I wasn't thinking "spend eternity with", but I was well on my way.  

Boy Meets Girl

  I'm kind of bad at blogging. Of course, my ridiculously crazy school schedule is partly to blame.  Okay, mostly to blame. But maybe some of you readers are wondering how I met this kid I'm engaged to (or maybe just Rachel Mackliet.  Whatever. One person wondering is good enough for me. Haha.)

  It all started when a boy met a girl...

  When I moved up to Logan for my sophomore year of school, I had recently broken up with my boyfriend from the year before, and I vowed I was going to be more social this year.  So I decided to plan a giant bonfire party for our first weekend back at USU before the semester started.  My new roommates were very enthusiastic about the idea and decided to invite literally all of Pineview to the event.

  Next thing I know, we're all up the canyon at this bonfire where I know probably 5 out of the 70 people there. My friends from Davis county were all leaving to drive home, and I decided to find my roommates to see if they were ready to head back to Pineview.  I found them talking to a couple of boys who apparently lived right above us at Pineview.  I remember thinking they were both pretty cute, and thus began me being more "social."  

  We invited them back to our apartment to watch the Prestige.When we arrived, one of the boys asked me whose longboard was leaning up against the wall, and when I replied that it was mine, we immediately began having a good conversation.  We ended up sitting by each other during the movie, and somehow by the end, we were cuddling.  Throughout the year, me and this boy kind of sort of dated off and on.

  This boy's name was Dan.

  His cute roommate I also met that night?

  Justin.  That guy I'm engaged to now.

  Hahahahaha.  

  It's a funny story.  A series of funny stories, really.

  And that is the story of how I first met Justin Judd.  Little did I know that summer night that I had just met the man I was going to marry, or that our first "real" date would be in April that school year, or that we would take a karate class together and he would punch me in the face, which would lead to our first date.

  But those are stories for another time.  And until that time, you can all live in suspense of how our story ends.

  Just kidding.  We all know we end up engaged.  You know that by now, right?

  Right.

He liked it, so he put a ring on it.

Okay lovely readers.  I guess since it's kind of a major life event I should probably write about it! Also, it's easier to write this story than to try and do it over FB chat and/or text.  And let's face it, I'm a lot funnier when I write than I am when I talk.

Once upon a time I had a fantastic boyfriend named Justin.  Please see previous posts in order to define the term "fantastic boyfriend."  Anyway, he's incredible and perfect to/for me in every way.  People have been asking me since July when we were going to get engaged (keep in mind we started "officially" dating in June). Soooooo needless to say, this was not a wholly unexpected event.  In fact, as soon as we both got home from this last semester up at USU, attended my best friend's wedding (where I caught the boquet. Hehehe.), and had a day to breathe, we were out ring shopping.  

Ring shopping!! The whole experience was so surreal.  I felt like we were little kids and didn't know what we were supposed to do in this adult world.  Which is kind of silly, since I've been researching rings for like three months at this point. Oh well.  3 important things happened that day.
   1.  I found out that the kind of ring I thought I loved, I didn't love on my own finger. 
   2.  I fell in LOVE with a ring from Payne Anthony Jewelers. (Fantastic jewelers. I would recommend them in a heartbeat.) 
   3.  I will never, ever go to a Jared store again.  But that's another story.

So I picked out a gorgeous ring (please see FB) and Justin told me he would return at an undisclosed time to purchase it.

Fast forward two weeks.  I asked Justin really sneakily if he had gotten the ring yet (okay, so I was slightly paranoid that someone else would go buy it if he didn't.  As you will see later, I had no real reason to worry).   I finally wormed it out of him that he hadn't.  So I re-emphasized how much I loved that ring and he promised to call and reserve it the Thursday after Christmas.

On New Years Eve, he told me he had made us fancy dinner reservations at a restaurant downtown, and would be taking me ice skating at the Gallivan's center beforehand, and then we would be meeting up with his friend Keaton at temple square after dinner to help make a first date not awkward, since we all know how awkward temple square can be as a first date unless you both have a romantic interest in each other.

I told my parents I was leaving, and told my mom that Justin was being suspiciously fancy about this and that I'd call her if he proposed tonight.  However, upon arriving at his house, Justin told me that while he had purchased the ring that morning, the guy who usually sets the diamonds wasn't in since it was a holiday and he wouldn't get the ring till Wednesday.  

So we drove downtown, and as we were ice skating, he kept bringing me towards the middle of the ice rink and hugging me. I finally told him that he was acting incredibly suspicious and that if he hadn't told me that he didn't have the ring, I would think he was going to propose today.  He just laughed it off and told me that I was probably going to suspicious for the next few fancy dates until he finally proposed. 

After freezing our feet and ears and fingers and pretty much everything off, we went to dinner at the Lamb's Grill downtown.  After dinner, we walked to Temple Square Visitor's Center to go wait for Keaton and his date to arrive.  Finally Keaton called and said they had parked on the opposite side and that we needed to come meet them.  

So we trekked through the cold to the reflection pool, where Justin called Keaton and asked where they were.  Apparently they were at the fountain by the pedestal and we needed to walk all the way over there. After passing the reflection pool with no hint of a ring, I was absolutely sure that Justin was not trying to trick me and that he really had just taken me out on a fancy date for New Years.  

We got to the pedestal, where Justin's friend Brett and another girl came into view.  I figured that it was a triple date and Justin hadn't known Brett was coming until just now.  So he asked Brett to take a picture for us on the pedestal in front of the temple while we waited for Keaton.

As soon as one picture had been snapped, Keaton popped out of nowhere with a dozen red roses, handed them to me, and said, "I think you're going to need these!" and stood back.  Bewildered, I looked at Justin and watched as he started fiddling with his breast pocket.  I'm pretty sure I asked him at least four times "Are you serious?!" as I watched him pull out a tithing envelope (only in Utah, people).  I could tell he was trying not to laugh as he told me he was indeed serious! Next thing I know, Justin is down on one knee, saying that phrase every girl dreams of hearing her whole life- "Sloan Ivy Millward, will you marry me?" Or at least, I'm pretty sure that's what he said.  It all became a huge blur from this point.  I'm pretty sure I said yes, since he took the ring and put it on my finger. I started to tear up (happy tears, folks) and turned around to find my parents, Justin's parents, Elise and Cory, and a bunch of strangers cheering for us as we hugged and kissed.  

I have no idea what was said after that besides this conversation:
Me: "You sneaky boyfriend!!"
Keaton: "Sloan.  Fiance.  Not boyfriend."
Me: "You sneaky fian.....thing..."

Guess I'll need to practice that word a little more before I'm comfortable with it.

As soon as the shock started wearing off, I realized it was like 10 degrees outside and that I couldn't feel my fingers.  So our little group broke up and everyone started home.  Me and Justin walked to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and he told me all the lies he had been telling me for two weeks-like that he had reserved the ring two weeks ago and that he had had it since last Friday.  That he had asked my dad for permission on Sunday afternoon and that they had both had tears in their eyes during the conversation.  And of course, that he had been planning on this proposal and had a bunch of people in on it! 

Afterwards, we went to his car and he said some things that were on his mind that turned me into a human hosepipe again.  I have absolutely no idea how I ended up engaged to a man that is truly the kindest, most empathetic, caring, loving person I have ever met.  I have never been happier and couldn't imagine a better way to end and begin my New Year.

And our love story is just beginning :)