I think I'm supposed to be on a rollercoaster right now, by the way

  How often am I supposed to write on this thing anyway?  Just whenever?  Hope no one really ever reads all these, they'll probably be bored to death.
  I think it's a venting day.  AGH.  Does anyone else ever have those days where they feel like a pop can shook too much and it all just has to explode before the pressure and stress kills you? 
  Maybe it's just me.
  I try not to be a jealous person, at least not without good cause. Sometimes I fail at this.  Fail with a capital M.  But just because I don't get legitimately jealous doesn't mean I don't have feelings that can get hurt.  There are just some things that I really can't stand, things that get under my skin more than anything.
1. People that lie to your face
2. Ditchers
3. People that talk bad about their "friends" behind their back
4. People that yell at you when you didn't do anything wrong
5. When someone stops talking to you for no good reason
  If I can't trust you, then you're not gonna be my friend long.  And what better way is there to tell someone they're only a second-rate friend than by ditching them when you get a better offer-who cares if you already had plans?  I guess since I don't let people bad mouth my friends to me, I expect my friends to do the same for me.  I am so sick of fake friends.  I remember Scott Hunter saying that all the time his senior year, that most people are just shallow friends, not the kind you want to have forever.  At the time I didn't really understand, but I sure do now.  If you were never planning to be my good, true, loyal friend, don't pretend to be. Ever.
  I am frustrated to death with it all.  I just want to curl up in a corner somewhere and not even worry about friends hurting me.  You can't get hurt if you don't let anyone in. 
  A friend told me once that he keeps people at a distance so he can't hurt them, and so they can't hurt him.  After I told him I'd let him in my life because I trusted and wanted him to be someone special in it. 
  Funny how life works that way. 
  Funny how someone can be the world to you, but then when you ask them, they need a 'backup' girl while they're "not in a relationship" with you (you just kiss for fun, right?), or end up telling you they care about someone else, maybe even more than they care about you.  But stay, because at the moment, you don't need to worry about that.
  Right.  At the moment.  But what do you do?  Because you care about them too much to let them go.  It'll get better, you'll be the exception girl, the one they decide they want to stick with finally.
  Right?
  I think I'll go for a drive tonight to my favorite park and listen to some Eminem. Vent my feelings some more.  Try to make sense of everything going around in circles in my head constantly. 
  Hope I figure this one out before anything-like...let's say...my heart-gets broken.