With a chuckle and an exasperated look at my husband, I get off my stool at Jamba Juice to retrieve my smoothie. Close enough. In fact, much better than usual. When you think about it, "slowun" or "slow-ann" makes much more sense than "salone." I mean, come on, the "a" comes after the "o." I'll give you a 7 out of 10, and an A for effort. Most of the time, people will squint at my name on the little sheet of paper, and then just yell out what the order contains.
It's actually a kind of fun game. I have a collection of photos from various restaurants, businesses, and pieces of mail with my name *almost* on them.
This lovely example from Kneader's is (surprisingly) the most common misspelling of my name I come across. Other misspellings pop up every so often: "Sloane" (acceptable), "Salone" (less acceptable), "Slon" (what?), and my personal favorite, "Slum" (really? no, seriously, really?!).
I've been called Mr. Sloan, received emails from school teachers and school counselors that referred to me as a "he," and my name is literally a boy name in its oldest form.
It's Gaelic for "warrior..." and there is only a male translation of the name. No female option. Nada.
Every gas station I've visited, every amusement park, every little ma-and-pa shop with personalized keychains, jewelry, and mugs has been a disappointment. For some reason, "Sloan" is just not on these very generalized, popular-names-only, keepsakes.
But at least in Utah, people are somewhat familiar with the name due to a well-known, NBA Hall of Fame coach.
No, I wasn't named after Jerry Sloan. And, no, if my first name was Jerry, my name would not be Jerry Sloan. It would be Jerry Judd. Or Jerry Millward in the old days. Sorry, kid in my seminary class. Next time, think before you ask that question.
No, the real story is that there used to be a TV reporter named Sloan Brown, and my mom liked the name. When she and my dad came across it in a baby book years later, they still liked it. And that is the whole story.
I know, riveting.
But all joking aside, I love my name. In all honesty, thanks, Mom and Dad. There hasn't been a day that I wanted a different name, not even when I got called Slum. In junior high if I heard ".....Sloan....." on the intercom, I didn't have to wonder, "Gee, did they mean Sloan Millward, or Sloan Smith, or Sloan Johnson...?" I love being unique. Not to mention I think it's a beautiful name. Is it a popular name? No. In fact, it barely scraped its way into the top 1000 most popular girl names in 2012.
But no one can deny the rising familiarity with this name. Watch out, world, because the Sloan's are going to take over. Not in an Emily, Sarah, Katie kind of way, but in a "what was that (insert positive adjective here) name?" way while you're watching TV. Don't believe me? Check out these
MIT Sloan. The business college at MIT. MIT, PEOPLE. That's a pretty big deal.
Check out these hot dudes. This Canadian band has been around since 1991 and is still at it. According to Wikipedia, the name was based on a friend's nickname - "slow-one." But with their French accents, it sounded like Sloan. Not the most flattering origin, but hey, I'll take it.
Ferris Bueller's girlfriend. And if that's not the biggest claim to fame, I don't know what is. What teenage boy wasn't in love with her by the end of the movie?
Dr. Mark Sloan, Grey's Anatomy. Look at his face. I don't think I need to say anything else.
From one of my favorite TV shows, the Vampire Diaries. They recently added this Sloan to the show, and I was stoked (and very confused) to hear my name coming from the television. You go, CW.
Remember this girl from Raise Your Voice? No? Well, now I know who didn't ever watch Hilary Duff movies. Anyway, while she may be anti-social, awkward, and kind of a nerd (doesn't sound like anyone I know named Sloan...), she's also kind of awesome. Or at least amazing at the piano.
People live and die. But there is one thing that will forever immortalize the name Sloan. You see it often, some of you on a daily basis. Sloan, the valve company. As one friend once texted me, "My brother wants you to know that every time he pees in a Sloan urinal, he thinks of you." Probably one of the creepiest texts I've ever gotten, but hey, what a way to make sure people think of you! So next time your toilet flushes automatically for you, next time you visit an airport, a hotel, or an amusement park and the soap dispenses for you, the faucet automatically turns on, check. Check for Sloan. Check for those five little letters that will undeniably make you think of me for the rest of your life.
Because folks, Sloan isn't going out of style - it's the new style. Let me leave you with the wise words of Urban Dictionary - and, personally, my favorite definition of Sloan -
"A name which can be a woman's or a man's name. Sloan's may have their names on urinals and toilets, but they are sensitive, caring, and nice to those around them."
No comments:
Post a Comment