One Mormon's thoughts on Ordaining Women

I have a terrible habit where I love to read controversial articles and then read the accompanying comment boards. The most recent child of this obsession has been Ordain Women.

I've visited their website, read their mission statement, stalked them on instagram (#ordainwomen), read multiple news articles about them from the last year, and read way, way too many comment boards supplied by a huge variety of people on both sides of the argument.

To call this frustrating is an understatement. It seems simple to me - if you, as an "active member" of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (which they profess to be), you either sustain Thomas S. Monson as the prophet of the church, entitled with his counselors to receive revelation from God for the entire church, or you don't. 

There is no gray area. 

End of story. Right?

Wrong. These women are determined to get the priesthood. They are determined to change the mind's of these brethren in the name of "equality."

Okay, fine, they want equality. I can understand that. I want equality, too. Everyone should be equal. So let's see what the brethren have to say about women's roles in the church. 

“The Lord has directed that only men will be ordained to offices in the priesthood. But, as various Church leaders have emphasized, men are not ‘the priesthood.’ Men hold the priesthood, with a sacred duty to use it for the blessing of all of the children of God. In the eyes of God, whether in the Church or in the family, women and men are equal, with different responsibilities.” 
-Elder Dallin H. Oaks, member of the quorum of the twelve apostles

And let's not forget the Proclamation to the World on the subject that has been around for several years now and explicitly states men and women's roles according to God. 

That being said, let's go back to their mission statement. here it is, directly from their website:

"We are LDS women who, without hesitation, sustain the Lord's prophet, the Family Proclamation as doctrine and our divine role as covenant women for Christ." 

(Okay, let's just point out that Elder Oaks declaring this during the priesthood session - which, ironically, these sisters missed, because they were standing in line outside the tabernacle trying to get tickets, despite the church asking them not to do this in a letter the previous month. They could have watched it in their homes, on their laptops, or listened to a radio broadcast. But instead, they were taking pictures of themselves standing in a 200+ person line outside in the rain.)

So which is it, ladies? Do you support and sustain these brethren, or do you not? If you believe they speak for God, then act like it. If you don't believe it...well, I can tell you this. The church will not - and never has - changed doctrine based on the protests and well-meaning members. So stop trying to force God to change His own doctrine, and His own gospel.

You already have the answer. As one of my favorite quotes says, "Don't let Satan put a question mark where God has already put a period." 

Along those lines,

"Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith"
-President Utchdorf

I am an active member of this church. I love this gospel. It has literally saved me in every way. It is, by far, the greatest gift I have, and ever will, receive. I have my own testimony of this work, of its truth, and of the divinity of my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. I know that President Thomas S. Monson leads and directs this church according to God's will and under His direction. 

So guess what? If the Lord's servants say I'm equal to men, then I'm equal. If they say I am not supposed to hold the priesthood, I'm not. Not because I'm inferior, but because that's just not my responsibility. 

I have never felt inferior in this gospel. Sometimes a member may say something offensive, or unkind, but they are not the gospel. While the members are not perfect, God is. And this church is His - not ours. 

I know these men speak for God, and that He loves me as His daughter. I have been so blessed to have such wonderful priesthood holders in my life, and I am incredibly grateful for these men of God. I know, with all my heart, this church is true. And for me, that is enough.

Sloan

"Strawberry Surf Rider for....Slowun..."

With a chuckle and an exasperated look at my husband, I get off my stool at Jamba Juice to retrieve my smoothie.  Close enough. In fact, much better than usual. When you think about it, "slowun" or "slow-ann" makes much more sense than "salone." I mean, come on, the "a" comes after the "o." I'll give you a 7 out of 10, and an A for effort. Most of the time, people will squint at my name on the little sheet of paper, and then just yell out what the order contains.

It's actually a kind of fun game. I have a collection of photos from various restaurants, businesses, and pieces of mail with my name *almost* on them.

This lovely example from Kneader's is (surprisingly) the most common misspelling of my name I come across. Other misspellings pop up every so often: "Sloane" (acceptable), "Salone" (less acceptable), "Slon" (what?), and my personal favorite, "Slum" (really? no, seriously, really?!).

I've been called Mr. Sloan, received emails from school teachers and school counselors that referred to me as a "he," and my name is literally a boy name in its oldest form.

It's Gaelic for "warrior..." and there is only a male translation of the name. No female option. Nada.

Every gas station I've visited, every amusement park, every little ma-and-pa shop with personalized keychains, jewelry, and mugs has been a disappointment. For some reason, "Sloan" is just not on these very generalized, popular-names-only, keepsakes.

But at least in Utah, people are somewhat familiar with the name due to a well-known, NBA Hall of Fame coach.

No, I wasn't named after Jerry Sloan. And, no, if my first name was Jerry, my name would not be Jerry Sloan. It would be Jerry Judd. Or Jerry Millward in the old days. Sorry, kid in my seminary class. Next time, think before you ask that question.

No, the real story is that there used to be a TV reporter named Sloan Brown, and my mom liked the name. When she and my dad came across it in a baby book years later, they still liked it. And that is the whole story.

I know, riveting.

But all joking aside, I love my name. In all honesty, thanks, Mom and Dad. There hasn't been a day that I wanted a different name, not even when I got called Slum. In junior high if I heard ".....Sloan....." on the intercom, I didn't have to wonder, "Gee, did they mean Sloan Millward, or Sloan Smith, or Sloan Johnson...?" I love being unique. Not to mention I think it's a beautiful name. Is it a popular name? No. In fact, it barely scraped its way into the top 1000 most popular girl names in 2012.

But no one can deny the rising familiarity with this name. Watch out, world, because the Sloan's are going to take over. Not in an Emily, Sarah, Katie kind of way, but in a "what was that (insert positive adjective here) name?" way while you're watching TV. Don't believe me? Check out these super  famous examples of Sloan's (besides me, of course.)

MIT Sloan. The business college at MIT. MIT, PEOPLE. That's a pretty big deal. 

Check out these hot dudes. This Canadian band has been around since 1991 and is still at it. According to Wikipedia, the name was based on a friend's nickname - "slow-one." But with their French accents, it sounded like Sloan. Not the most flattering origin, but hey, I'll take it.

Ferris Bueller's girlfriend. And if that's not the biggest claim to fame, I don't know what is. What teenage boy wasn't in love with her by the end of the movie?

Dr. Mark Sloan, Grey's Anatomy. Look at his face. I don't think I need to say anything else.

From one of my favorite TV shows, the Vampire Diaries. They recently added this Sloan to the show, and I was stoked (and very confused) to hear my name coming from the television. You go, CW.

Remember this girl from Raise Your Voice? No? Well, now I know who didn't ever watch Hilary Duff movies. Anyway, while she may be anti-social, awkward, and kind of a nerd (doesn't sound like anyone I know named Sloan...), she's also kind of awesome. Or at least amazing at the piano.

People live and die. But there is one thing that will forever immortalize the name Sloan. You see it often, some of you on a daily basis. Sloan, the valve company. As one friend once texted me, "My brother wants you to know that every time he pees in a Sloan urinal, he thinks of you." Probably one of the creepiest texts I've ever gotten, but hey, what a way to make sure people think of you! So next time your toilet flushes automatically for you, next time you visit an airport, a hotel, or an amusement park and the soap dispenses for you, the faucet automatically turns on, check. Check for Sloan. Check for those five little letters that will undeniably make you think of me for the rest of your life. 

Because folks, Sloan isn't going out of style - it's the new style. Let me leave you with the wise words of Urban Dictionary - and, personally, my favorite definition of Sloan - 

"A name which can be a woman's or a man's name. Sloan's may have their names on urinals and toilets, but they are sensitive, caring, and nice to those around them."