Well hello my lovely readers! If any of you still check this blog. Haha. I know it's been awhile, but hey, it's never too late to catch up, right?
This summer has been one of the most challenging, yet rewarding, summers of my life. Spring semester ended on a rather terrible note. I didn't do nearly as well as I wanted on my finals, I was extremely stressed, unhappy, and really feeling completely alone. My self-esteem has never been as low as it was in April and May. I didn't know what I was doing for the summer, and none of the jobs I had applied for were going through. My life was kind of a wreck, emotionally and physically.
I had no choice but to make some really drastic changes in my life.The first, and probably most drastic, was choosing to live in Logan for the summer for the first time. I am so grateful my best friend's boyfriend lived in Logan so that she was willing to be my roommate, haha. We moved in together and started job hunting. After two weeks of really hard work, I managed to get a job at Firehouse Pizzeria. I have never been so grateful for a job in my life! I loved living with my best girl friend, she was a huge support to me and cracks me up all the time.
The second change-and best change, in my opinion, was choosing to date one of my best friends. He was the guy that I always went to throughout the school year when I needed advice or help with something. He was my confidante, my example, and, all of my roommates agreed, the best guy we've ever known. He always knew how to make me laugh or smile even when I didn't want to. And even though he accidentally punched me in the face in karate, he was still one of my best friends!
He was one of the only people there for me at the end of second semester when I thought I would never be able to recover from the heartache I was going through. He was the only person able to see the real me in the midst of confusion and chaos.
So we started spending time together. A lot of time. Okay, pretty much all our time. He took me out on several dates and started hinting at something more long term. But I got cold feet. I felt that I couldn't date someone as good as him when I was so broken and I honestly didn't feel like I was good enough for him. However, something started to change. Just being around him was making me a better person, and he swears I was making him a better person as well, which still baffles me, but whatever. And slowly, without me making a conscious decision, he suddenly became much more than a friend to me. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without him in it, and so I finally told him that I was ready.
Best decision I ever made.
Justin is everything I have ever wanted in a boyfriend and best friend. He makes me happier than I have ever been with anyone. I don't have doubts when I'm with him. He makes me feel confident, respected, loved, and important. He knows everything about me and still loves me for exactly who I am. He is always encouraging me to be better. He does things with me other guys won't do-he takes care of me when I'm sick, he'll let me cry in front of him, he watches stupid chick flicks with me, he helps me cook, and he tells me everyday that I'm beautiful.
It's cliche, but God bless the broken road that led me straight to him. I'm not sure things would have worked out with him if I hadn't gone through some of the trials I've had the last year, and I thank my Heavenly Father that He helped me get through them and allowed me to grow and become a better person throughout the process.
I'm sorry this post has been ridiculously mushy, but it's your own fault if you read all of it haha.
The last bit of good news is that I got the Psych 1010 SI job that I applied for last April! I need this job really bad and am SO grateful it worked out in the end!
I guess what I've learned most this summer is that Heavenly Father is always there. No matter how hard the trial, no matter what mistakes we make along the way, He always loves us and is going to lead us down a path that will eventually lead to happiness, either in this life or the next. It requires a whole lot of faith to truly believe that all things will work together for our good, and I still struggle with that principle a lot. However, He has taken such good care of me in my hard times, and I am so grateful in retrospect for the trials I have been given. This life is not easy, but is so much easier when you finally understand that Heavenly Father and Christ are always on your side.
