Blah I hate sentimental days. But unfortunately, this is one of those days. You know, the ones where little things make you reminisce and wish for things that are long gone, or wish life was simpler, or just different. Maybe I'll start calling them "Defining my Life" days.
Anyway. I just don't know what I'm doing right now. Like...I am having fun and feel very myself lately, but I have no idea what I'm trying to accomplish. Not with friends, not with relationships, not with anything. All of my best friends from high school will have gone their separate ways by next school year. Ali in Indiana, Connorie and Elise at the U, Laura at Weber, and me at Utah State. The boys will all be on missions. That's it. That was my high school world. And I will be here with none of them. I'm a little afraid of what that will be like. I will be in my second year of USU, and I'll be working towards my degree in psychology. I don't know what I'll do after that...go to grad school? Get a Ph.D in psychology? Or be married and be working on my family? I don't even know where I'm going to work over the summer.
So in the midst of all these thoughts today, as I'm trying not to completely lose it, Jesus, Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood comes on my iPod. Boy did that hit me hard. I can't do this on my own. It's time for me to stop worrying about the things I can't change, and instead to trust that my Heavenly Father is watching over me and is going to take me where I need to go. He knows exactly where I'm going and who I'll be with. I need to get rid of the mundane clutter that fills my life and just focus. Focus on what's important, what is defining me as an individual. I want to be happy with who I am.
Another random thought lately...Have you ever taken a step back to look at the people around you? So much of the time I think of myself and what I want and where I'm going and how other people affect me. Then I stepped back. Everyone else is the center of their own universe. There are other people out there that have memories, lives, and heartache just like I do. They aren't just a face that God put on the earth to populate it while I live my own life. They want, just like me, to fit in, to be loved, and to be needed. Behind closed doors, they too are worrying and hoping and dreaming. They don't just disappear once they leave my sight. I don't think I spend very much time thinking about the fact that they are just as important to Heavenly Father as I am, or that he knows them just as well as he knows me. I don't mean this in a narcissistic way; it's more of an eye-opening experience that both humbles and betters me.
Okay everyone. That was my "Defining my Life" moment for the day. Thanks for letting me vent and ramble and try to get my thoughts straight, as usual :)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
It's finally Monday!!
Ashhole is telling me to glob. So now I am globbing. I have been living in room 104 the last two days basically, in the amazing, incredible blanket fort we made for our blind date. Can I just say that it's like camping at college...? It's probably the best thing I've done. Ever. I will probably cry when Ben wants his ginormous blanket back and we have to take it down. Today we watched the Superbowl in it...which sucked. Seriously, Fergie is one of the worst singers I have ever heard. She wouldn't even make it past the first auditions of American Idol. Even with the bad judges they have now. Anyway..
I had the greatest weekend!! Me and the girls had a big blind date that I don't really feel like writing about right now, but let's just say that we were the funnest, most random, group of people ever and that we had a blast and a half. We called it "Food, Fort, and Fondue." I think that's all I'm going to say about it, since Connorie and Ashley already pretty thoroughly covered it in their glob posts.
I wrote my English essay tonight!! Finally!! Three pages, double-spaced, DONE. Finally.
Guys, this blog post is going nowhere. Can I just say that this glob post is going absolutely nowhere? Yes. Yes it's not. No it's not? I don't even know. So I think I'm going to be done. I am so excited to see my family and dogs again this weekend, I hate feeling like I'm missing out on my brother's senior year especially. So I go home a lot to see them :)
Last note for the night...It's finally Monday!! I'm so excited for today!! :D
I had the greatest weekend!! Me and the girls had a big blind date that I don't really feel like writing about right now, but let's just say that we were the funnest, most random, group of people ever and that we had a blast and a half. We called it "Food, Fort, and Fondue." I think that's all I'm going to say about it, since Connorie and Ashley already pretty thoroughly covered it in their glob posts.
I wrote my English essay tonight!! Finally!! Three pages, double-spaced, DONE. Finally.
Guys, this blog post is going nowhere. Can I just say that this glob post is going absolutely nowhere? Yes. Yes it's not. No it's not? I don't even know. So I think I'm going to be done. I am so excited to see my family and dogs again this weekend, I hate feeling like I'm missing out on my brother's senior year especially. So I go home a lot to see them :)
Last note for the night...It's finally Monday!! I'm so excited for today!! :D
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Mmmmmexio?
Will someone please tell me where I can get a Mexican poncho? I want one so bad.....hahahaha.
Yeah, I'm serious, okay?
Yeah, I'm serious, okay?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I wish I was still in bed. I am so exhausted from both working out and going swing dancing yesterday that my mind is just blank. But instead I'm going to write on my blog. Does anyone even read this thing? Not that is matters, but I'm a little curious.
I'm excited for next Monday. Connorie's tests will all be over by then (our dorm can be really stressful when one of us is really stressed about a test. Especially when it's Con's bio), and my organ playing will be over. AGH. Organ playing is so stressful. Haha hopefully I get used to it soon...?
One of my friends had the funniest facebook status the other day. "It's February first...I guess that means I have 13 days to find a guy!" Valentine's day is a mixed holiday for me. Have you ever seen that movie? It was actually pretty good. Anyway, I guess it is sweet to have a day that you dedicate to people you love. But really, shouldn't you treat the people you love like you love them everyday, not just one day a year? I always thought my dad was so sweet when he'd get my mom roses just because, and that he always took her on one date a week. I wish I was still in elementary so I could go buy those little Hannah Montana or Tangled valentine's to share with my class. Those were always the best, with everyone's boxes made out of cardstock colored paper and shoeboxes. Maybe I'll still go buy those, just for fun :) Or maybe I'll just go buy myself one of those giant teddy bears you can get at Walmart. Those are so cool.
I hope no one is ever offended by stuff I say on here, it's all just my opinion.
Today I wish I was a little kid again. I miss my biggest concern being if recess was inside or outside that day. Or what was for dinner. Or if I was going to get home in time to watch Arthur. I guess at the same time, I don't want to give up my independence and finally being able to make all my own choices, rather than have my parents make the majority of my desicions for me. I'll just have to learn to love life how it is now, since I'll never be able to go back to being even close to that carefree.
Enough rambling. I think I'm going to eat a turkey sandwich and then play guitar or write. K bye!
I'm excited for next Monday. Connorie's tests will all be over by then (our dorm can be really stressful when one of us is really stressed about a test. Especially when it's Con's bio), and my organ playing will be over. AGH. Organ playing is so stressful. Haha hopefully I get used to it soon...?
One of my friends had the funniest facebook status the other day. "It's February first...I guess that means I have 13 days to find a guy!" Valentine's day is a mixed holiday for me. Have you ever seen that movie? It was actually pretty good. Anyway, I guess it is sweet to have a day that you dedicate to people you love. But really, shouldn't you treat the people you love like you love them everyday, not just one day a year? I always thought my dad was so sweet when he'd get my mom roses just because, and that he always took her on one date a week. I wish I was still in elementary so I could go buy those little Hannah Montana or Tangled valentine's to share with my class. Those were always the best, with everyone's boxes made out of cardstock colored paper and shoeboxes. Maybe I'll still go buy those, just for fun :) Or maybe I'll just go buy myself one of those giant teddy bears you can get at Walmart. Those are so cool.
I hope no one is ever offended by stuff I say on here, it's all just my opinion.
Today I wish I was a little kid again. I miss my biggest concern being if recess was inside or outside that day. Or what was for dinner. Or if I was going to get home in time to watch Arthur. I guess at the same time, I don't want to give up my independence and finally being able to make all my own choices, rather than have my parents make the majority of my desicions for me. I'll just have to learn to love life how it is now, since I'll never be able to go back to being even close to that carefree.
Enough rambling. I think I'm going to eat a turkey sandwich and then play guitar or write. K bye!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
LOGAN IS FROZEN.
I'm at Nicky's dorm listening to (gee, what a surprise? haha) Tangled. Guys. Do you get that I love this movie yet? I've seen it three times in theatres now and would go again. Disney, I'm in love with your make believe characters. Hahaha.
Well, I did really well on my first psychology test and am very happy about this! If I keep doing good, I won't have to take the final because he drops our lowest test score. Then I could go home two days early!! :) I can't believe we're already four weeks into the semester, it's FLOWN by. But the best is yet to come :) Especially once it's not freaking 7 degrees outside anymore!!
Speaking of good things to come..I'm really excited for next Monday to get here :) That's all I'm going to say. :)
Me and Nicky and Ashley (maybe Amanda?) are going swing dancing today!! I love it so much, I am so excited. Especially now that I know some of the line dances :P Anyway, I have an interior design test on Friday, but luckily I took good notes :)
I'm a little stressed out this week and have a lot on my mind. It's so hard to close doors and have faith that new doors will open and make you even happier than you were. Look for the silver lining, right? Anyway. I was a lot happier in January, for the most part. I finally learned how to like myself and not care what other people's expectations are for me. Real friends love you for who you really are :) It's hard without real friends sometimes...but the ending is sweeter :) Okay, that's all I had to say! TTFN, ta ta for now!
Well, I did really well on my first psychology test and am very happy about this! If I keep doing good, I won't have to take the final because he drops our lowest test score. Then I could go home two days early!! :) I can't believe we're already four weeks into the semester, it's FLOWN by. But the best is yet to come :) Especially once it's not freaking 7 degrees outside anymore!!
Speaking of good things to come..I'm really excited for next Monday to get here :) That's all I'm going to say. :)
Me and Nicky and Ashley (maybe Amanda?) are going swing dancing today!! I love it so much, I am so excited. Especially now that I know some of the line dances :P Anyway, I have an interior design test on Friday, but luckily I took good notes :)
I'm a little stressed out this week and have a lot on my mind. It's so hard to close doors and have faith that new doors will open and make you even happier than you were. Look for the silver lining, right? Anyway. I was a lot happier in January, for the most part. I finally learned how to like myself and not care what other people's expectations are for me. Real friends love you for who you really are :) It's hard without real friends sometimes...but the ending is sweeter :) Okay, that's all I had to say! TTFN, ta ta for now!
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